Saturday, November 20, 2010

I love I hate

I love peanut butter, sliced granny smith apples, sultanas and sliced banana on a sandwich.

I hate the smell of bacon because it makes me want to eat it

I love laksa soup with tofu, brocoli and corn on the cobb swishing around in it, with peices of snow peas, and sticky rice. I love my sister in law who taught me how to make it!

I hate having to cook dinner sometimes

I love my kids belly laughs, their hugs, and special routine of different kisses when saying goodnight...

I hate hearing them winge and complain about my cooking.

I love going home to the farm, drinking in the peace and quietness of vast acres of land and air ready for me to walk on and photograph its sunsets.

I hate leaving.

I love being able to pay the bills

I hate drowning in financial dispair.

I love how it strengthens my faith.

I hate how I sometimes blame or question God over how poor we are.

I love getting through those awful thoughts, and praising God over how much we actually have!

I hate saying goodbye to my mum.

I love black forrest cake, home made with cherries and flake for the chocolate sprinkles.

I hate feeling like I have no-one.

I love seeing a friend and feeling like no time has passed since the last time I saw them.

I hate feeling lonely.

I love losing a few kilos

I hate putting them back on!!

I love our youth at church

I hate how I think they think Im some weird old chick who looks at them.

I love hearing Matt play the piano.

I hate having to nag him to practice.

I love how Pearl is so gentle.

I hate thinking about the battles she'll have growing up...

I love how Eden has unconditional love

I hate that she will have her heart broken one day...

I love hearing Marsh talk

I hate that sometimes he talks and I dont understand.

I love my hands.

I hate people smoking at the entrance of shopping centres

I love getting something done

I hate that that doesnt happen very often!

I love the custard tarts that the bakery sells 2 doors up from my work...

I hate how tempting food is for me, even when Im full.

I love a cup of tea in the morning!

I hate seeing the bottom of the cup sometimes...

I love my cat molly

I hate her stinky poo.

I love our chooks and their eggs!

I hate not having the space to put them in!

I love giving something to someone that they really truly appreciate and love.

I hate how I actually want what Ive given to that somebody for myself!

I love having a church to go to

I hate how Im so self righteous sometimes.

I love gerberas and the heady smell of gardenias and jonquils

I hate that I cant grow jonquils here!

I love that my kids can go just over the road to the park to play

I hate having to tell them not to talk to any adults who are strangers, to accept anything from anyone, to not try to help any adults, to teach about sin.

I love my family & Marsh's family

I hate being so far away from them all.

I love knowing that Jesus is always, always there for me...
I love the thought of heaven...
I love thee
I love.

summer dreamin


The beach... crashing of waves, swirling of bubbles around my feet, childrens giggles, screams, fun and laughter, catching that wave, the look of excitement in their eyes looking to me, to make sure Ive seen.... the warm sun on my back... the sand cleaning my toe nails... red and yellow flags, blue everywhere... God knew when he made blue.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

a kind old man with weathered hands

A man walked into the clinic today, he was well worn, and his gnarly hands handed over his blood request form. There were a few other patients waiting to be processed, and I would glance over to him on occasion as I do with all our patients making sure they are processed in turn.
I called this old gentleman to my room, and started the protocols of checking his DOB, his name, we both signed the labels that would eventually travel to the lab. I looked at his date of birth - it was the same year as my dads was - he would turn 94 next month.
After the paperwork was finalised, I asked him how he was going.

He leaned back, with a tired sigh.
His face filled with emotion - 'Im slowly dying' he said.
I replied 'oh dont say that'
He said 'I lost my wife in 2008, and I just dont seem to be able to do anything. We were married for 65 years.....its really lonely, and I dont get out much anymore'
I was very saddened by his pain. Here was a man, a real man sitting infront of me, having seen nearly a century of life, and he was just wanting to go. He was still very agile, the movement of a 70 year old really.

'Im so very sorry to hear that, I bet you've seen so much in your life.'
He said 'oh Ive seen snippets here and there, I went to World War II, fought up in New Guinea, and the likes.'
'We dont realise how lucky we are today, we dont realise what could have been' I replied.
'Well, if the enemy had gotten through, it would certainly be a different country to today. Instead of freedom, most of us would be dying as slaves' he said. 'most people today dont seem to realise that.'
I said to him 'do you have somewhere you can go for a hobby, or a church group to see every week?'
He said 'not really, there's a few religous people that make the rounds, but Im not much into that anymore... Im presbyterian you see, I get out to do a few errands at the shops, and come here for my tests, but thats about it really, I do a bit of reading at home.'
I wish I could have kept talking to him, and somehow befriended this kind old gentleman. But work had to keep going, and the wheels of life had to keep turning. But he stuck in my mind all day, I wish I could do more. Life gets in the way of caring for each other too much now.
I hope he goes in a quiet dignified way, that he deserves. Thanks old man, for defending our country, for standing up for right, for being a good person in our community. I hope to see you again...

Sunday, February 21, 2010

willow tree

I finally purchased some willow tree figurines with my birthday money this week. I have admired them for ever so long!
There are so many available now, that it was hard to choose which ones to go with.
The one I thought I would get was the pregnant lady, for when I was first pregnant with my boy.

Can you believe nearly 8 years have gone by, and now, I decided to go with the 'together' man and woman, the 'thoughtful' little girl, and 'brother and sister'. While I was in the shop, on a little table sat an old looking row boat - it was in the same colour and style as the figurines! So they sit proudly in their own little place in the lounge room... and when I look at them, I feel such peace, and serenity, a sense of pride at what I have achieved in the last 8 years.

No, I do not have a degree, or that latest groovy job, but instead, I have chosen to stay at home to just be here for my beautiful 8 year old boy, who helps his sister on to the bus each day, carrying her bag for her, my daughter, who is so eager to learn and grow, and my other little daughter, who we nearly lost, who completes our little family.

I am not going to focus on the acheivements I could have had, but the acheivements I have! To give them the best start in life, to encourage, build, and love.